Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Do I Conceive only to Misconceive?

Those of you who are following my blog know that I had my Day 21 progesterone test done and the results were 55 (way above normal range).
On March 26th, I had my first serum HCG test and It was only 4. Anything above 3 is considered positive....but 4 is not too high either. 
On March 30th, my second serum HCG results showed 13 - Now my doctor said I am definitely pregnant - but the number is low for the days after ovulation (15 DPO).
..and then I saw my doctor on March 31st - had internal exam - she checked my cervical area and all....and then checked the health of uterus by pressing on the abdomen etc...
She wrote a HCG scanning lab order for me so that I can go get my HCG checked every 3 days. 
I have my next HCG test scheduled for Thursday. 
Since after coming back from my doctor's office, I have been bleeding very heavily....
Today morning I got up - took shower, put a heavy pad and then even before I left home for work, I had to change my pad...had big clots too. 
Now I am thinking probably the internal exam had triggered the inevitable M/C or something. 
Why should god make me go through all this? Why is he punishing me like this?