Visiting Mihir's resting place for the first time

I thank every one who understood my pain. It still hurts to know that I was put in blind all these years. However, I went to Mihir's resting place, took some flowers and sat there for a while. I wanted to take Mahi (our rainbow) with me so that Mihir can see her. It was cold and windy so I dropped that idea. One day when the weather is good for the LO, I am going to take her to see her brother's resting place. I am sure Mihir would have wanted same thing. It felt utterly silent while I was there. Something missing - a big deep hole in my heart. For a while, I felt disconnected from everything. I didn't know why I was there, what I was doing. Just that strange feeling....its been 1 year 6 months since Mihir passed away...I felt as much pain as I felt when he passed away. I didn't want to leave him. It was very windy and cold that I didn't want to leave my baby there.

When I got home - It took me a while to regather my self. I didnot cry - this was something more than that - a deep abyss in my heart.

You have a litle baby sister now

Miki,
I love you my son. You are now a big brother to your little sister. I see you in her. She would have been so proud of you has her big brother. Unfortunately, god wanted you more than us and he took you away from us. We named your little sister Mahathi Krishna, just like how we named you Mihir Krishna. Your initials are same. One day when your little sister grows up, I will tell her about you. You will be forever remembered my son. Mommy loves you very much.